Fundamental Injustices of Pregnancy

September 11, 2011

1.  I am never thirsty until about 9 pm.  And then, I want to drink about a gallon of water.  Which of course means I’m up all night running to the bathroom.

2.  In other water-related news, because of my frequent Braxton-Hicks contractions, I am supposed to (a) rest and (b) stay well-hydrated.  These two things are in direct opposition to one another, because the more water I drink, the more frequently I have to go to the bathroom, which is not restful, as it is a LOT of hopping up and down.

3.  When pregnant, I can basically consume as many calories as I want without gaining unreasonable weight.  This is probably the last chance I will have in my life to do so.  However, early in pregnancy, my stomach is iffy, and later on, my stomach is compacted in size, so I can’t take advantage of it.

4.  Pregnancy frequently causes me to have tense and/or sore muscles.  Especially at the point I’m at, I start being tied up in knots all the time.  However, my two favorite cures for this problem- ibuprofen and wine- are off-limits.

5. Being sick bites.  Being pregnant often bites.  Being sick AND pregnant, however, is somehow worse than the sum of its parts, plus your drug choices are limited.  And yet, the immune system (mine, at least) drops during pregnancy, and you’re MORE likely to be miserably sick.

6.  If it’s your first, people will tell you to sleep as much as possible, since your chances will be gone once the baby’s here… and yet restful sleep is nearly impossible- more and more as the baby comes closer.  However, I think this one actually works out, even though it doesn’t seem like it will: sleep after the baby comes is SO MUCH BETTER, you almost don’t mind it being interrupted, because the interruption is CUTE (not painful), and you know that when you go back to sleep, you will actually COMFORTABLY SLEEP instead of hopping up every 15 minutes to go to the bathroom.

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