Whining, Crying, and Grunting

September 18, 2011

This is a new one for the 3-year-old.  It’s sprung up in the last few weeks.  R is usually on the quiet side (her older sister never shuts up) but speaks well and not much bothers her.

Except that recently, she’s moved to a great deal of grunting and squeaking instead of talking, whining, and if you say one cross word to her, bursting into huge sobs and wails.  I AM NOT A FAN.

This morning, she came into our room and poked Sean, who was sleeping or pretending to.  I rolled over and said (in a perfectly nice tone), “Leave Daddy alone, he’s sleeping”.  She immediately broke into a LOUD WAIL.

Me: “Use your words, R.”


Me: “R, either tell me what you want in words, or leave this room now.”

R (louder): “WAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Me: (now done with this): “Get out.  Now.  Go sit in your room with the door closed.  I’m not listening to this.”

R: (silence, then) “I want to brush my teeth.”

Me: “FINE.”

WHAT THE HECK.  I’m lowering my tolerance- it’s about to start meaning the random screaming or whiny tone is a go directly to the room, do not pass Go or receive a warning.  Usually all it takes is the threat, but I shouldn’t have to threaten.  I read a parenting book some time back that recommended not giving warnings before punishment, and I’m (mostly) on board with that: after once or twice, and after a certain age, kids shouldn’t need warnings, they should know the rules, and they should think BEFORE they do and not because you’ve reminded them.  This is one of those times.

And it’s not like I’m beating her.  It’s to the room, until she calms down and can use words to say what she wants (and clean up whatever mess happens to be in the room at the time).

And while we’re at it, I also had this happen this morning (prior to the R yelling)- loud wailing from down the hall, that went on at least five solid minutes.  I thought it was R and ignored it as long as I could because really, I’m not indulging that, but eventually got up and went to look because I didn’t want A awake.  What I found was both girls in C’s bed, and C was yelling her head off.


C: “R is HITTING me!”

Me: “WHY ARE YOU LETTING HER?  R, GET OUT of that bed!”

C: “R, stop it, and get out of my bed!”

R: gets out, promptly.

Now answer me this… WHAT THE HECK?  C is bigger, stronger, and knows perfectly well how to stand up for herself, and yet she lets her sister climb into her bed and hit her while she cries for five straight minutes?  We had a talk about it later, and she suggested she could have told R to stop it, pushed R out of her bed (I allow pushing in self-defense), or left the bed herself.  All good solutions.  And yes, she knew A was asleep and her crying would wake her up and Mommy would get mad.

But apparently sitting there, being hit, and yelling was a better option.

Seriously?  Next time I’m just going to lock them both in the room and let them have it out.


One Response to “Whining, Crying, and Grunting”

  1. We’re having similar issues here with the whining/screaming when thomas doesn’t get his way and going into huge wailing when we say no to something. Hating it.

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