I Try Not To Be Gloomy…

September 25, 2011

Or a whiner, or a pessimist, or a moaner, or someone who goes on and on about her big dramas which are really just small potatoes, but SINCE I restrain myself, I’m going to allow myself a small indulgence and whine about today:

1) C was just unpleasant this morning.  She got a time-out for ignoring a first warning about not messing with A’s horse.  Every time she gets a time-out these days, she immediately has to go potty.  I’m no longer buying it.  She can hold it five minutes.  So she pitched a fit about that.  Then came out and did the EXACT SAME THING a half hour later.  I attempted to discuss with her my frustration in her not listening and/or not following Very Clear Directions, and her response was, “Well, you’re a bad mom every day.”  Aaaaaaaaaaaaand cue my pregnancy hormone-affected heart breaking.

2) So we went to church, where we found ourselves volunteering for the nursery, which we’re probably overdue to volunteer for, since we’ve been using it a while.  (Though we’re infrequent attendees).  But they didn’t have volunteers today and we said we’d step in.  And this was fine.  The girls were good.  But no Mass for us, we played with toddlers instead.  Not hard.  One little boy whimpered in my lap for a solid 30 minutes or so until his dad came back for him, but no problem, he never actually cried.  But still bothered by C’s statement, and tired, and stressy, but it was ALL GOING TO BE OKAY, because we were going to get lunch at Wawa after church, and I was going to get a hot turkey bowl, which I’d worked up some major excitement about to the level of Major Craving.  And…

3) Wawa, apparently, does not serve hot turkey bowls on Sundays.  They have the stuff and were vaguely willing to get it out and heat it up, but apparently that takes “an hour or two”.

The one thing I’m proud of here is that I did not cry IN the Wawa.  That didn’t happen until I got to the car.  And then I started sobbing like a 2-year-old.  Still will, if I think about it too much.

4) The baby boy doesn’t have a name yet and I’m stressed about this.  It is really bothering me.

5) I was reminded this morning of my reaction when I found out this baby was a boy, and got upset about that all over again.  Though I’m used to the idea now, and I am excited to have him and hold him and everything, and I’m sure once he’s here this will mean nothing to me and I’ll be thrilled he is who he is, I’m still terribly worried about what I’m going to do with a boy when I hate trains, and I’m upset that for the rest of his life, I’ll know and remember and feel terrible about my reaction to finding out what sort of baby he was.

6) I didn’t get a nap, because C and R refused to sleep.  They self-entertained just fine, but given that their self-entertainment consisted of RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE HALL LOUDLY and walking in and out of our room turning on lights, any effort of mine to nap was gone.

7) It’s been gloomy for four days straight.  I hate it.  I don’t mind rain but I need a little sun to break it up.

8) My back hurts, I hate contractions, and I am sick to death of having to run to the bathroom every three minutes.

9) I didn’t get my HOT TURKEY BOWL.  This was the one and only thing I wanted today.  And it hasn’t and won’t happen.  And absolutely nothing else is going to make me happy.

I may as well list the positives since I should, though they’re not helping much at the moment, though they should:

  • Sean is nice to me.
  • Sean is low-maintenance.
  • Sean would get me a hot turkey bowl if it was within his power.
  • R gave me a very nice unsolicited hug after C upset me this morning.
  • Both girls obediently helped me with laundry.
  • A is taking a great, long nap.
  • All three of them were well-behaved at church.  I’m hoping us being there leads to A being more willing to do the nursery when we’re not.
  • Everyone is healthy, gainfully employed, probably loves me, blah blah blah…

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