I am a Monster Who Makes My Child Cry

October 6, 2011

So C had tangled hair this morning.  For those of you not familiar with my oldest child, girlfriend has A LOT OF VERY LONG HAIR.  I think there was toothpaste in it.  While R is fairly cautious about pulling her hair out of the way while brushing, C is not.  There was blue crap stuck in her hair, and I was not being very gentle with the brush after a while, which led to tears.

Being tired and frustrated*, I was not patient.  “Tonight, kiddo, we’re trimming your hair.”

Now, C didn’t really understand “trim”, and FLIPPED THE HECK OUT.  I have in the past (which I am ashamed to admit) threatened to give her a haircut like Madeline at school.  Madeline has short hair.  I think this threat seems normal to me since my dad used to threaten me similarly and I hated it.  (Hmm.  I should learn a lesson from that.)  This time, I was only actually talking about a trim, but her flipping out annoyed me, so… I let her assume, hoping she’d learn a lesson.

Yes, I purposely scared my child.  Or didn’t avert her scaring herself.  She cried.  I felt awful and yet for some reason didn’t back down.  What is my problem?  Do I have that much pride that I have to stand up to a 4-year-old?  How awful am I?

C (heartbroken voice): “If you cut my hair, I won’t be C ANYMORE!”

She had, of course, forgotten this by tonight, when I gave her a one-inch trim, while she asked me not to cut too much and sat still like a good girl.  But yeah, I pretty much suck.

 

*I shouldn’t be allowed to parent before 7 am.  Or while 33 weeks pregnant.  Or worse, both.

 

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