A Dance With Dragons, The Rest Of It

October 15, 2011

Initial reactions to the rest of Dance With Dragons:

Jon: I am assuming he’s not dead, but what’s going to happen with that?  And is it me, or was he acting really out of character in that last chapter?  He found out Ramsay DOESN’T have his sister.  And he wasn’t worried enough about her before to go racing off.  And worrying about Stannis wouldn’t make him go racing off.  So, WTF?  And I also found the quick reaction by the guys who attacked him an additional WTF.  That whole chapter was just… huh?  (And for the record, I think the letter was crap, though I can’t say who wrote it.)

Stannis: The whole “freezing in the snow three days from Winterfell” thing was about the worst part of the book for me.  As much disturbing crap went down in that book, that bothered me the most, personally.  Poor Stannis.  Poor Asha.  Poor Justin Massey.  I liked Justin Massey.  Was also glad there’s still a Mormont woman out there kicking ass.

Danerys: Her chapters were sort of boring.  I really didn’t need to read the politics of Mereen in that much detail and all the names sounded alike.  Both her husband and her boyfriend were shady.  That Green Grace lady is shady.  And I don’t think any of that is really going to matter in the end beyond her and her dragons and her suitors.  Yawn.  I don’t really care who poisoned the locusts except that I’m glad Strong Belwas survived.

Tyrion: I spent most of the book absolutely going nuts wanting him and Barristan Selmy to find one another, team up, and kick ass.  Or him and Quentyn Martell would have been cool.  WHY DIDN’T THEY?  I was relatively satisfied with where things went with him otherwise.

Theon: He was one of my favorite parts of this book, as horrifying as his story was.  (Flayed penis what?)  I was so proud of him when he escaped with poor little Jeyne and so thrilled he found Asha.  (By the way, Theon, glad you didn’t kill Bran and Rickon, but you still did kill a bunch of other innocent people.  I’ve forgiven you for the moment since they were fictional people, but not killing Bran and Rickon doesn’t make you some big hero.)

Arya: Um… I’m glad we got to see a little of what she’s up to?  But I’m also glad they didn’t dwell on it too much.

Jaime: So Brienne survived, found him, and they went off together for… a long time… to Zombie!Cat?  And WTF Beric Dondarrion maybe?  Not much there, looking forward to more, like the idea that Cersei thought he ran off with Brienne.

Cersei: Was almost proud of her for a few minutes during her naked walk through the city when she was all, I’m a Lannister, and I’m going to hold my chin up!  But yeah, I think walking naked through a medieval city sucks no matter how well you take it.  I’m glad her uncle and Zombie Clegane were there at the end to be somewhat kind to her at least.

Quentyn: So cute.  So stupid.  Oops.  Too bad, I liked him.

Jon Connington: I could not possibly care less.  He bored the crap out of me. As knights in exile go, both Jorah Mormont and Barristan Selmy are way better.  (Selmy’s chapters were the only part I liked of the whole long Mereen business.)

Aegon: Marginally better than Connington, also somewhat boring, but I think he could get better.

Victarion: Not a very nice guy.  Is he selling his soul to the red god?  I might not care, except that his chapters featured a lot of sex and gore so they kept my attention better than Connington’s.

The End: VARYS!!!!!  Awesome.  I just knew something bad was going to happen to Kevan L.  When he was dying and Pycelle was dead, I knew it had to be someone important, and someone surprising, and I wasn’t disappointed.  About time he shows back up.

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