Sharing

May 14, 2012

http://www.circleofmoms.com/article/why-i-don-t-make-my-son-share-03871

I agree with this post, almost completely.  I don’t generally make my kids share or take turns.

*If a toy belongs to C, it’s hers.  That said, if she leaves it out and someone picks it up, it’s her choice to either let them play with it or politely get it back.  If it is HERS, she may have it back.

*If a toy is community property, whoever picks it up to play first gets to keep it until she’s done.  Again, though, I expect politeness, and if you leave something laying around, it’s fair game.  I don’t save or reserve toys.  Take it with you, put it away, or someone else can play with it.

*If you want to play with something someone else has, you may ask politely to share or take turns.  The person who has the object may nicely say no.

*However, if they say yes, I’ll praise that, or if they offer to share or play together, I’ll praise that, and I think more importantly than praise, I’ll point out that if you’re willing to share, your sister will be more likely to share with you.

*If I hear fighting over something, it’ll probably be mine for a while.

I want my kids to respect property rights.  I want them to take care of their things.  And I want them to learn patience and that they don’t always get what they want.  Like the mom in this article… I think there’s a bit too much of that going around.  You can be polite but still say no.  But if you’re willing to share, what goes around will come around.

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2 Responses to “Sharing”

  1. LB said

    Right now, there’s a pretty big inequity between my kids, so that I have to force Mel to share or she will basically just wrench every toy away from the baby. I’m not sure how I’ll handle it when they’re older, but I think what you said sounds reasonable.

    • lhighheeledmom said

      As far as that goes, I just make a big deal that big kids have big kid toys, and babies have baby toys. And honestly, the baby really doesn’t care. If a bigger kid takes a toy from a littler kid who doesn’t care much, I just make her bring the littler kid something else to play with.

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