People Who Are Not People

September 16, 2013

It’s been a while, but:

Valerie Harper is not Valerie Bertenelli.

Andrew Dice Clay is not Lou Diamond Phillips is not Edward James Olmos.

And finally, and this is a recurring biggie for me, Joss Whedon is not J. J. Abrams and neither of them are Judd Apatow.

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More Celebrity Confusion

March 7, 2012

Olivia Munn is not Olivia Wilde.  I have no idea, however, which one of them was on House and which was in Cowboys and Aliens.

David Cross was Tobias and Tony Hale was Buster.  NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

Robert DeNiro is not Al Pacino.

Danny DeVito is not Joe Pesci.

Bobby McFerrin sang “Don’t Worry Be Happy”, Bobby Brown did crack with Whitney Houston.

Wesley Snipes played Willie Mays Hayes in Major League and Dennis Haysbert played Pedro Serrano.  NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

Laura Linney is not Laura Dern.

Alan Alda is not Adam Arkin.

Laura Kightlinger is not Laura Schlessinger.

Side note: I saw a side headline on the cover of this week’s People: ODD COUPLES!  For the example of an odd couple, there was a picture of Tom Cruise and Heather Locklear circa 1982.  How’s that odd?  I didn’t know they ever dated, but that sounds just about right to me, in 1982 anyway.

Rob Reiner is not Bob Hoskins

Al Pacino is not Robert DeNiro

Joe Pesci is not Danny DeVito

Michelle Branch is not Vanessa Carlton

Ina Garten is not the Barefoot Contessa.  Nigella Lawson is not the Barefoot Contessa.  I’m not sure who is but she cooks.

I must note here that I do NOT get Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton confused.

Kyle McLachlan is not Kyle Chandler.  Every time I hear about this Friday Night Lights show, which I haven’t watched, I picture Trey from Sex and the City.

Javier Bardem is not Benicio Del Toro

Willie Garson was not in The Devil Wears Prada.  It was Stanley Tucci doing  a Willie Garson impersonation.

James Marsden is not James Franco

Elizabeth Banks is not Elizabeth Shue.  She’s way younger.  But they look alike!

Tobey Maguire is not Elijah Woods

Justin Long was not in Tropic Thunder.

Andrew Dice Clay is not Lou Diamond Phillips.  Neither are Edward James Olmos.

Mary McDonnell is not Mary Louise Parker.  Neither are the chick who was dying in Boys on the Side, I don’t think.

Paul Thomas Anderson is not Wes Anderson.

Phillip Michael Hall is not Phillip Seymour Thomas, and neither are Paul Thomas Anderson.  (Oddly, I do not get Anthony Michael Hall mixed up in here.)

Matthew Morrison did not play Donna Moss’s Republican boyfriend, but he looks a heck of a lot like the guy who did.

Zooey Deschanel is not Elisabeth Moss.  (Don’t even ask.  I don’t know.)

Zoe Saldana did not play Dualla.  (Oh, wait, I just figured out that Elisabeth Moss played a character named Zoe, which is why the Zooey Deschanel thing…)

I know the difference between Martin Sheen and Michael Douglas, but haven’t figured out yet why the world needs both of them.